Celebrating Little Things

Month: August 2020 (Page 1 of 2)

Ode to Norma

Since I posted yesterday about grieving during Covid, and my experience with my cousin Norma’s passing, I thought I’d share this poem I wrote the week before she passed away.  I woke up during the night to heavy wind and rain, and I thought about her health issues, and how it was like a storm.  And when the storm calmed and was over, her suffering would then be over too.

 

Ode to Norma

Blustery winds raged and blew

Trees did sway and bend

Rain lashed against the windows

As this day came to an end

Stormy seas tossed and turned

Waves crashed along the shore

Leaving damage on the coastline

People could repair no more

The breeze is light, the seas are calm

Your boat is safely in the bay

A knot will forever be in my heart

Until we meet again one day

Rest easy my dear cousin

Your legacy will live on

In your two most precious gifts

Your loving daughter and adoring son.

Illness, Death and Grieving During Covid-19

Norma Billard (picture curtesy of Norma’s daughter, Molly MacMillan White)

This may not be quite as light and positive as I had hoped to keep my blog posts, but it is something I’ve been pondering for the past months. This is not based on anything I’ve read or anything I’ve heard from anyone through conversation. This is strictly my observations and personal feelings. However, I do feel that many other people in similar circumstances may feel the same way.

Covid-19 has definitely thrown a wrench into so many plans, in so many ways, none more so than when a family member is terminally ill and subsequently passes away. My experience was with my first cousin, Norma. The only two people in my life, longer than Norma, are my brother and my mother. I likely met her when I was only 3-4 days old, but I don’t recall our first meeting. Through the years, Norma lived in Massachusetts, Illinois and Maine, and always summered in Dundee at her parents summer place, which became her beautiful summer home after their passing.

Norma battled illness the past few years, and although treatment curtailed the illness, the side affects were difficult, leaving her with a compromised lung condition. It had become increasingly worse in her last few months. In early March, she called and asked if I would come visit her. At that time she was in a long term care facility in Boston. I debated for a couple of days, but given the time of year, with unpredictable weather, and the fact Covid appeared to be moving in on us, I didn’t think it was a great idea to be travelling. Travel would also be complicated, with trying to cross over an international border, as it was speculated the border would be closing. And we all know that happened, and continues to remain closed, as I write this.

Norma called me daily, sometimes as many as three or four times a day. I loved being home, so I could talk to her whenever she would call. Sometimes it was a very brief conversation, depending on her breathing, and sometimes it was longer. Often times she called when she got up in the morning, to let me know she was up and on the go and doing okay. She often called just to say goodnight. We ended every conversation by saying ‘I love you’ to one another. One evening, immediately after hanging up with her, the phone rang. It was Norma calling back. I picked up and said ‘hello’. And she said ‘but I love you more’ and she promptly hung up. I love that memory.

Norma’s phone calls became less and less. She would call just once or twice a day, then once every couple of days, until it was just twice the last week before she went into hospice care. I missed her calling so often. The fewer calls now tell me she was losing her battle, but at the time I suppose I was in denial.

Norma passed away a week after entering hospice care. That was hard. We were in shutdown with Covid at that time. There was no way to cross the border to be with her husband, son and daughter. There was no way to be with family and friends here in Cape Breton, to support one another. Support was confined to phone calls and emails. It was just not the same as giving and receiving a hug, or just being in the presence of others to share stories, to laugh at memories, or to cry on one another’s shoulders.

Her presence is all around, yet she is not present. I visited her summer home for the first time, a few weeks ago. She was everywhere, but nowhere. Everything was her. The large dining room table, that she loved to have surrounded by friends and family, serving them luscious food, especially at Thanksgiving, was her. The decor was all her. The upholstery, chosen for the couches and chairs, had her name all over them. Then, I saw a Volvo drive by the other day. It was the same soft brown colour she owned at one time, and I instantly thought ‘oh there’s Norma’. At a restaurant in Halifax last week, I noticed a picture of a fox hunt hanging on the wall. Again, I found myself being reminded of her.

My mind wonders if there had been a service, would I respond and feel differently? Maybe. Maybe not. These feelings would still occur, I expect. In some ways they make me happy and I feel she just hasn’t arrived to her summer home yet. Perhaps I should embrace these occurrences, but at times they catch me off guard and leave me feeling sad.

Covid does not allow for a service of remembrance, or celebration of life, to be held either here, or in the US. I feel like the grieving process is on hold ,or suspended, until restrictions are lifted enough to have a ceremony. Although some families have chosen to have small family only funerals, online ceremonies, or just graveside services, which may work for them, it really isn’t an option for Norma’s family. She had so many friends and family, in both the US and Canada, and until the border opens, and gatherings can be held in Maine and Cape Breton to give her a proper send off, the grieving will continue or perhaps will continue to be on hold. But believe me, when there can be a celebration, it is going to be that much more meaningful, because of the delay.

Yes, Covid has caused so many issues. Family and friends have been unable to be with loved ones during their most vulnerable times. We have been unable to provide support with our presence, but support only from afar. And we have unable to attend a proper ceremony, to bid adieu to our kin. It truly is a strange world we live in today.

Also, by no means am I’m implying a service needs to be held, just to be held to find closure. I truly feel a service should be held only when the pandemic will make it safe for all to attend, either in the US, in Canada, or both. And the service will be what the family wants to have, to celebrate and honour Norma’s life.

Lough Eske Castle, Donegal, Ireland – May 2019

Lough Eske Welcome Sign

In May 2019, I travelled to Ireland with Brack Tours and musical hosts Evans and Doherty.  Our accommodations were all 4 or 5 star and all exceeded expectations, none more so than Lough Eske Castle in Donegal.  I had never thought I’d stay in a castle, but I was excited to see a castle as one of our accommodations when the itinerary arrived.  Our bus driver, Dennis, was prepping us, for our arrival at Lough Eske, for a couple of days prior to our stay.  I can’t speak for others, but I was eagerly anticipating this location.  I caught a slight glimpse of the castle, on the narrow road, leading to the VERY narrow laneway to the property.  It looked very impressive.

Entering laneway leading to Lough Eske Castle

As mentioned, the lane was narrow, with tall trees hanging over on both sides, which made it almost seem like a tunnel, and rhododendrons in bloom everywhere amongst the trees.  As we exited the lane, and approached the circular driveway in front of the castle, there as a collective gasp from our group, as we then had our first full view of the castle and the grounds.  It was nothing short of spectacular.  As we pulled up to the front entrance, three men in black suits came out to welcome us.  One gentleman boarded the bus, welcomed us and gave a brief overview of the features of the property; wellness centre, pool, spa, gardens, walking trails, etc.  He emphasized that we were free to roam and take full advantage of all Lough Eske has to offer.

Lough Eske Castle

We slowly made our way off the bus, in complete awe of this place.  I was stunned thinking I was actually staying in such a majestic place.  What did I do to deserve something so luxurious?  Laura Ellis (my roommate) and I made our way slowly up the red carpeted stairs leading to the foyer.  How nice they rolled out the red carpet!  At the top of the stairs were two large decanters of beverages.  One was just water and the other was infused with fresh fruit.  There were also very large bouquets of flowers throughout the foyer and hallways.  We picked up our room cards, took the elevator up to the second floor and when we opened the door we could not believe our eyes.  This was by far the most amazing accommodation I had ever stayed in and I hadn’t even seen much of it yet.  There were two queen size beds with canopy’s over each.  (I remember looking at the Sears catalogue as a kid and dreaming about having a canopy bed someday.  I waited a long time to sleep in one.  It was worth the wait.) There were two large armoires, an elegant desk and plenty of space for a few square sets.  A hallway with large closets on either side led to the bathroom.  In the closets were thick, soft, plush housecoats and slippers, as well as extra blankets and pillows, with plenty of room to hang up way more clothes than I had with me.

Gorgeous bouquets were everywhere inside.

Gorgeous bouquets were everywhere inside.

Queen beds with canopies.

The bathroom was nearly as big as the bedroom.  There was a very long counter with two sinks and heated towel racks which held several large, thick towels.  There as a sliver tray between the sinks which held soaps, shampoos and body lotion and plenty of each.  The toilet was located off the main part of the bathroom behind a frosted glass door.  A second frosted glass door led to a walk-in shower.  There were both wall shower heads and an overhead shower head.  Dials on the wall controlled temperature and the various shower heads.  The first time I took a shower I could not for the life of me figure out how to get the overhead shower to work.  I finally gave up and turned the wall sprayers off, but must have turned the knob too far when suddenly the overhead sprayer was dispensing water.  I decided to have another shower using the overhead unit.  Needless to say, I loved this shower.  In the main part of the bathroom was an oversized deep tub.  The ceramic floor was heated.  There could easily be another square set in the bathroom.  I’m thinking the fiddler and accompanist would be in the hallway between the bedroom and bathroom.  I’m serious.  This place was HUGE.

Double sink, gorgeous granite counter, heated towels and sliver tray with shampoos, soaps, lotions and conditioners.

Throne room

Shower

As much as I could have stayed in and enjoyed the bedroom, I was eager to get out and explore the grounds.  Upon exiting the front door, I noticed to the immediate left a bronze sculpture of a reclining lion.  There are many bronze sculptures by Lloyd LeBlanc located in various locations around the complex.  A fire breathing dragon is one of the first sculptures you see as you enter the main area from the laneway.  In the centre of the circular driveway at the front entrance is a sculpture of seven salmon jumping out of a water fountain.  Other sculptures were an eagle with a fish in its mouth, three young children playing on a stone bench, three geese flying out of a marsh, and my favourited was a lady curled up in a wicker chair reading a book.

Children playing on marble bench

Geese flying out of a marsh

Lion by the front entrance.

Salmon jumping out of water.

Lady in wicker chair reading a book

As I moved further away from the main building to try to get a picture of the entirety of it, I found myself near a helipad.  (I’ll keep that in mind for my next visit.)  The vast manicured lush green grass was immaculate.  I strolled around to the other accommodations, wellness centre, pool/spa, and found endless gardens everywhere.  Rhododendrons, which appeared to be at their prime all over Ireland, were scattered throughout the property.  There were several colours of pinks and purples and many white as well.  Many of the well kept gardens are contained within a 2′ hedge.  There were purple and yellow iris’s, white calla lilies, many colours of roses, yellow, red, pink and purple lupins, purple and white columbine, various weigela, grasses, poppies, hosta’s and many flowers I could not identify.  There were also several palm trees throughout the gardens.

Helipad

Lush grounds everywhere.

Someone in our group had the room in the turret. Lucky Kevin.

Lupine

Lupine

Palm Trees

Calla Lily

Rose

Iris

Rhododendron

Azalea

 

 

I arrived back to my room with time to unwind and relax, before our group dinner.  This meal was very good.  I had the Carrot and Parsnip Soup, Chargrilled Sirloin Steak and Chocolate Gateau.

Group meal choices.

I could smell the unique scent of peat and upon searching for the source, I found a fireplace burning turf in one of the sitting rooms.

Peat burning fireplace.

After returning to Lough Eske, from our daily excursions the following day, I decided to head out again and explore more of the property.  I noticed a path off the main laneway and decided to see where it led.  I found a stone wall, which is the remains of one of the original dwellings.

Remains of original dwelling

I continued along the path and soon came to a boardwalk.  It led through the woods and on either side were rhododendrons growing wild and in full bloom.  I love rhododendrons and I was totally in my glory walking through such a gorgeous place.  It was so peaceful.

Path

Boardwalk

Boardwalk

Rhododendrons

The boardwalk ended, but a footpath continued, and so did I.  I walked by an inlet and across the water were lush green trees and mountains in the distance.  The sky was so very blue with big white puffy clouds.  There were lily pads and water lilies in the water.  Some of the trees along the path looked eerie.  They were so tall with gnarly limbs going up and down and in all directions and curving around.

Inlet

Inlet

Inlet

Lily Pads

Gnarly tree

Tall tree

I finally came to the end of the path, which was at the tip of a peninsula, and I found the most gorgeous view of Lough Eske, the actual lake.  WOW.  No words to describe, emerging from this path, to find this view.  All I could do was stand in amazement.  There was an island in the middle of the lake, that looked like a grove of trees rising right out of the water.  On the other side of the lake was a scattering of homes and farms.  Beyond the homes and farmland were rolling mountains with turbines erected on top of the mountain.

Turbines

Island with trees that look like they are rising out of the water.

I walked partway back on the same path, but then chose to walk the paved laneway the rest of the way.  I could see what looked like a grave marker off to my left, a short distance off the road.  I wandered off to see who’s resting place might be there.  I found a wrought iron fenced enclosure, which contained a large Celtic cross, marking the grave of Henry George White.

Henry George White’s epitaph.

Wrought iron fence surrounding the grave of Henry George White

Grave marker of Henry George White

All breakfasts at our hotels were wonderful but there was a something special about Lough Eske.  We were greeted by Chef Bill, who was flipping pancakes on a griddle with one hand, while making made to order omelettes on another grill, with the other hand.    He was an interesting character.  He told me he was a ship’s captain for many years and then realized he no longer wanted to be on the high seas, so he became a chef quite late in life.  And he loves his job.  After getting my pancakes and omelet I proceeded to the chafing dishes where I found roasted potatoes, white and blood pudding, tomatoes, mushrooms, breakfast sausages, scrambled eggs, bacon and that’s when I quit lifting the covers off the dishes. There were several more as well.  When I went to get a glass of orange juice, I found the cold selections; yogurt, mountains of fresh fruit of all kinds, muffins, breads, sweet breads, cinnamon rolls, scones, croissants, dry cereals and oatmeal.  This was by far the largest, most amazing and tastiest breakfast ever. Unfortunately I didn’t get any pictures of breakfast.  I’ll have to remember that the next time I visit.

We boarded the bus after two marvellous nights at Lough Eske Castle. I don’t believe any of us wanted to leave.  The staff came out and waved to as we pulled away.  I hope I can someday get back there to visit again, even if I don’t stay the night.  I’d really like to experience their breakfast again.

A brief history of Lough Eske Castle:

Lough Eske is most closely associated with the O’Donnell family.  The new castle was built in 1861, in the Elizabethan style.  An impressive part of the castle is the tower, which held the flagstaff, where the families flag would have flown.  It would be visible from miles around.  Today the trip-coloured green, white and orange flag of the Republic of Ireland flies high.

Some of the families which owned the castle and/or the grounds were O’Donnell’s, Brooke’s and White’s.  General George White purchased the estate from Col. De Vere Brooke in 1894.  The next owners were the Knee family, which operated the castle as a hotel from 1930-1939.  The castle was severely damaged by fire in 1939.  The Knee family then sold the estate to Scott Swan.   He in turn sold it to an American, Bernard Etzin.  In the 1980’s, the estate was acquired by a commercial forestry group.  They had no interest in the actual castle, so it fell into total dereliction.  By the time the present owner, Pat Doherty, purchased it in 2005, only the outer walls remained.  Trees had grown up through the inside of the castle.  After 2 years and at an extravagant cost, Solis Lough Eske Castle was completed.  The interior is early 20th century Edwardian style.  It is a 43 acre property, with a  luxurious 5 star hotel, including a spa, banquet and conference facilities, elegant accommodations and gorgeous gardens and grounds.

Our amazing group in front of Lough Eske Castle.

Treadmill Challenges

I consider myself to be somewhat athletic and to have decent coordination, but for some reason I have difficulty with treadmills.  Here are a couple of pieces of advice; if you are prone to motion sickness, as I am, do not watch your feet moving on the belt, and attaching the clip to ones clothing serves a purpose.

 

First attempt:

Treadmill Malady

It’s time to try the treadmill

As weight I gained you see

No more chips and ice cream

My body said to me

How does this contraption work

I cannot seem to find

An on/off switch to activate

Am I losing my mind

I finally get it going

As my feet begin to pace

I can’t stop staring at the belt

My steps make it a race

After fifteen minutes of walking

I feel the need to stop

I step down onto solid ground

But my head spins like a top

I’m so dizzy I have to sit down

And I’m nauseous in the tummy

I think I’m going to vomit

I feel so bloody crummy

The moral of this story is such

Don’t watch your feet move easy

Or motion sickness will attack

And leave you feeling queasy.

Second attempt:

Treadmill Fall-y

The second time I tried the treadmill

I hoped it would go better

I wanted to sweat the pounds away

So I wore a heavy sweater

I must not look down at my feet

But focus on views in front

Or nauseousness and dizziness

Will make me groan and grunt

What is this clip for, I wonder

As I attach it to my shirt

It seems a nuisance as I walk

I unclip it as I exert

I’m really getting very warm

As I sweat away the pounds

I must remove this heavy shirt

Before I pass out on the ground

I barely have it over my head

When my feet begin losing this race

The damn conveyor belt doesn’t slow

It keeps the same friggin pace

The next thing I know I’m flying off

The back of this machine

As I smash into a corner wall

It was not a graceful scene

Now I find myself contained

Between a treadmill, chair and wall

I stand and dust myself off

From this unexpected fall

I assumed I could climb back onboard

The conveyor belt in front

But once again I’m in a heap

After that impossible stunt

I next climb over the chair nearby

And shut the damn thing down

I was so disgusted with this attempt

That I could only frown

The moral of this story is

Keep the clip attached to your sweater

Especially if you try to disrobe

As the outcome should be better.

Dear Covid-19 Part 2

Dear Covid

Remember me?  I wrote you a couple of months ago, just to let you know that you weren’t intimidating me, and also to make you aware of all the good you have done since you made your appearance.  I thought I’d write you again and let you know how things are going in my part of the world.  By the way, I called you Covid, because I feel we are on a first name basis now.  

Here in Nova Scotia we have heeded the advice of Premier Stephen McNeil and Dr. Robert Strang.  They have guided us and made the important decisions with shutting down our beautiful province and gradually re-opening it.  They have done an admiral job and we are very thankful to have them leading the way.  

It is now mandatory for us to wear masks when in public places.  Yes, we hate them but hey, if it keeps us safe, then we’ll put up with the inconvenience until we get use to them.  It’s rather entertaining to see all the different masks that are being used.  Many people have chosen to use the disposal ones, but others are wearing colourful cloth masks.  There are so many people making and selling their products and many are donating the money from their sales to very good causes.  Ah ha…another good thing to come from your existence.  People are making statements with their masks by wearing ones that support their favourite sports teams, or their interests, or just wearing colourful fabric masks.   I’ve seen Montreal Canadians, Toronto Maple Leafs (these have likely disappeared now), Boston Bruins, Harley Davidson, knitting, paisley print, polka dots and many more designs.  Another common mask is those made from tartan material.  I love seeing the Cape Breton tartan, Nova Scotia tartan and the Maple Leaf tartan being worn and showing allegiance to our Scottish ancestry.  Personally I love to colour co-ordinate my mask to whatever I am wearing.  You see, wearing a mask can also be a fashion statement and it can be fun. 

I just had the most enjoyable weekend.  I travelled to my brother’s place in Bedford.  We have not been able to visit since you reared your ugly head.  By the way, you can stop laughing now because it really isn’t funny.  Mom and I spent two amazing days with him and Greg. A gorgeous cardinal welcomed us, only minutes after arriving. We both love cardinals and that was the first sign of what our weekend would be like.  We laughed, talked, read, watched the squirrels in the oak trees and dodged the acorns they threw down on the deck.   We sat on the deck in the sun and out of the sun.  We cooked and we ate.  But most of all we just enjoyed being in one another’s company.  At one point I lifted my head from my iPad and looked at Mom, who was reading, then I looked at Sandy and Greg who were surfing on their phones and I thought, “what more could I want?”.  The answer is nothing.  I was with the most important people in my life.  Covid, you have made me, and many others, realize just what is important in life and what isn’t. 

As I made the three hour drive to Bedford and back, I saw many vehicles from Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Newfoundland/Labrador.  This is the Atlantic bubble and people within these provinces can travel back and forth and not have to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival.  The tourism sector is definitely missing the tourists from other parts of Canada, the US and around the world, but it is all about keeping us safe from YOU.  The traffic was heavy, maybe heavier than I’ve seen before.  It is comforting to know that many people are staying home and having what we know as staycations.  People are discovering they don’t have to travel to points far and wide to have a wonderful vacation.  They are realizing there is so much to do and see in our own province ,and in Atlantic Canada.  There were so many vehicles with kayaks and bikes being transported.  There were also MANY travel trailers of all types going and coming.  How amazing to see so many traveling and enjoying the trails, camp grounds, waterways and highways of Nova Scotia. Oh Covid, you continue to be such a positive wake up call to so many.  Thank you for that.  

Those in the know believe you will be paying us a second visit, but it is unknown as to exactly when that will be.  Just to advise you, the welcome mat will not be out for you ever.  In fact, why don’t you listen to Premier McNeil and ‘stay to blazes home’.  In other words, stay to blazes away and just don’t bother coming back.  But if you do, we are already on board with shutting down again.  We did a great job the first time around, so I expect the second time we will be even better.  My advice, just don’t waste your time messing with us again.  

Covid, you have caused chaos; there is no doubt about that.  You have made it very difficult for those who have, and had, terminally ill family members.  And not necessarily terminally ill from having you invade their bodies.  You have prevented family from being with their loved ones during their most vulnerable time.  That is pitiful.  You have caused ceremonies for deceased to be put on hold, therefore bringing no closure to the families of those who have passed.  I just want to advise you that when those celebrations of life are finally held, they will be even more meaningful and important to all.  

I hope this letter finds you reconsidering your existence.  As you can see, we are coping quite well.  You, on the other hand, have been kicked to the curb, for the time being and hopefully for good.  We are a very welcoming and open society, but only when we can trust, and with you, there is no trust.  This is very unlike us to be so uncaring, but you ruffled our feathers big time.  

Yours in continued isolation but gradually re-entering our world, 

Hughena MacDougall

Dundee, NS

PS…I haven’t gone for a haircut yet, because of you, but guess what?  I’m liking the new do and so are many others.  

« Older posts

© 2024 Celtic Beamer

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑