Treadmill Challenges

I consider myself to be somewhat athletic and to have decent coordination, but for some reason I have difficulty with treadmills.  Here are a couple of pieces of advice; if you are prone to motion sickness, as I am, do not watch your feet moving on the belt, and attaching the clip to ones clothing serves a purpose.

 

First attempt:

Treadmill Malady

It’s time to try the treadmill

As weight I gained you see

No more chips and ice cream

My body said to me

How does this contraption work

I cannot seem to find

An on/off switch to activate

Am I losing my mind

I finally get it going

As my feet begin to pace

I can’t stop staring at the belt

My steps make it a race

After fifteen minutes of walking

I feel the need to stop

I step down onto solid ground

But my head spins like a top

I’m so dizzy I have to sit down

And I’m nauseous in the tummy

I think I’m going to vomit

I feel so bloody crummy

The moral of this story is such

Don’t watch your feet move easy

Or motion sickness will attack

And leave you feeling queasy.

Second attempt:

Treadmill Fall-y

The second time I tried the treadmill

I hoped it would go better

I wanted to sweat the pounds away

So I wore a heavy sweater

I must not look down at my feet

But focus on views in front

Or nauseousness and dizziness

Will make me groan and grunt

What is this clip for, I wonder

As I attach it to my shirt

It seems a nuisance as I walk

I unclip it as I exert

I’m really getting very warm

As I sweat away the pounds

I must remove this heavy shirt

Before I pass out on the ground

I barely have it over my head

When my feet begin losing this race

The damn conveyor belt doesn’t slow

It keeps the same friggin pace

The next thing I know I’m flying off

The back of this machine

As I smash into a corner wall

It was not a graceful scene

Now I find myself contained

Between a treadmill, chair and wall

I stand and dust myself off

From this unexpected fall

I assumed I could climb back onboard

The conveyor belt in front

But once again I’m in a heap

After that impossible stunt

I next climb over the chair nearby

And shut the damn thing down

I was so disgusted with this attempt

That I could only frown

The moral of this story is

Keep the clip attached to your sweater

Especially if you try to disrobe

As the outcome should be better.