Category: Friends

Presenting My Words

June 30, 2024 / Hughena MacDougall / 15 Comments

I suppose it was in late February when Mike Hunter asked me again if I wanted to share some of my writings with the literary event he was organizing in May. Mike organizes two literary events a year, in West Bay, and usually has 4 readers sharing their work. Some people are published authors, while others are just people who enjoy writing. I am the latter, someone who just plays with words. The evenings are always wonderful and often there is a musical entertainer as well. I have gone to all of them and come away wishing I had the nerve to get up and share my work. I leave the event feeling I could but usually within a day or so and certainly by the time the next events rolls around, I've lost the nerve. For whatever reason, I agreed this time.

I had lots of prep time and couldn't wait to go through my poems and decide what I'd read. But the weeks flew by and about 10 days before the event I got serious and chose four to present. I really questioned myself as to why I said yes. I'm not a public speaker and putting myself in front of anymore than 2 or 3 people, and I'm out of my comfort zone. I'm not a presenter. I went to school before heritage fairs and science fairs were a thing. No way I could ever stand in front of people and speak. My speaking was done on the ball diamond, the soccer pitch, the basketball court and later on the hocky rink. Whatever was I thinking? So yes, there were nerves during the final few days but thankfully I was busy enough not to pay much attention to the nerves. I did practice reading them aloud and even had a small audience the weekend before the event. The audience was just family though, not quite the same as friends or strangers.

I would be sharing the stage, (it wasn't really a stage, but there was a podium and a microphone) with Janet Burbidge, Jeff Townsend, Lewis MacKinnon and Jennifer Klotz (accordion player). I was looking forward to meeting Lewis MacKinnon. He is an aquaintance of my brother, Sandy, and Sandy has high praise for Lewis. Any friend of Sandy's is a good person.

The big day arrived. I rushed home from work, quickly ate my supper and then read through my choices again and again. I arrived at the hall about 20 minutes beforehand. I had this strange feeling that although nervous, I was calm. I had asked to go first so I could enjoy the rest of the evening and was granted that request. Thank you Mike. I did not feel like mingling, as I didn't want anyone asking me if I was nervous, so just sat down and waited. A copule of people came over and gave me a hug and told me they were looking forward to hearing me share my writings. And then I turned and saw two friends coming in the hall from Creignish; Karen MacDonald and Tracy MacIsaac. WOW, I was moved to see them come out for me. I suddenly felt like everything would be fine. I have no idea why I felt this, but I did. It was just a very warm, comforting feeling. I met Tracy and Karen through playing hockey. We have a core group of friends from those days that have become close and to see them come out to support me was touching. Another friend, Monica MacKenzie was there as well. I read a poem about a friend who had passed that we all knew well. Knowing they were there to hear it meant so much.

It was go time. I will share what I said to introduce each poem, and the poems, further on. There was a nice round of applause after each poem. I think I was a bit nervous at the start, but grew more comfortable as I moved along. When I finished I went back to my seat. A lady in front of me turned back and had tears rolling down her cheeks. The last poem was difficult to get through and immediately after seeing her tears, I know I choked up and my eyes became watery. At intermission I went to check out the offerings that were for sale; books, CD's and things. I was quite amazed at the number of people who came up to me and complimented me on not just my writings but on the presentation and that I had done so well. It wasn't just people I knew, but total strangers. I was overwhelmed. I'm not used to that at all. I really don't like attention but to have people relate to things I had written was powerful. I was blown away. Perhaps they were just being nice. But would complete strangers have approached me to say nice things 'just to be nice' or did they really relate and admire my stuff? It's not something I had ever expreienced before. Simply mind blowing.

I'm glad I did this. Yes, I was out of my comfort zone, but sometimes it is good to push ourselves. It's something I'm pleased I was able to do. Will I do it again? I'm not too sure. It might be a once in a lifetime event for me. And I met Lewis MacKinnon and he is every bit as nice as my brother said, and he speaks as highly of Sandy, as Sandy does of him. That made a great night even better.

(I have inserted a few pictures that have no meaning but since the topics are on the darker side, I thought I'd include some pictures to lighten the mood.)

Thanks Mike for the introduction and continuing to have these literary events. Thanks to everyone for coming out tonight. I am honored to share this event with Janet, Lewis, Jeff and Jennifer.

He Didn't Know Her Name – In early March, several years ago, on my drive home from work on a Friday evening, I realized I only had one headlight. I debated all evening whether to go to Port Hawkesbury the following morning to have it replaced. I finally decided it could wait until Monday. When I woke up on Saturday I decided that I had to have it replaced immediately. I was planning to attend a concert in Boisdale that evening and thought it was best to be able to see as much as possible while driving on back roads. As I was getting ready to leave, my Mom asked me to pick up batteries as the time change was happening in a few weeks, and we MUST have batteries well in advance. I explained that we had weeks to get the batteries and I wanted to get in and back quickly. I put on a burgundy coat but once I went outdoors, I realized it was much too warm for the coat and replaced it with a navy vest. I went to town and managed to have my headlight replaced in a matter of minutes. It was still early, so I decided to go to Walmart and pick up the batteries. As I got out of my car, a genteman in a nearby vehicle also got out and started to approach me. I was a bit taken aback as he made his way directly towards me. He then said 'can you help me? My wife is gone. I saw her walking that way' as he pointed to the opposite end of the mall. I talked talked to him, trying to calm him down as he was very agitated. I asked him what her name was and he said Mildred. I asked what she was wearing and he hesitated and then reached out to my vest and said 'a coat in this colour'. I managed to get him to his vehicle and assured him I would look in Walmart as nothing else was open. I walked very aisle but saw no one that I thought might be his wife. As it was early there wern't many people in the store yet. I picked up the batteries but before leaving I checked once more. Finally I saw someone I thought might be her. This is a poem I wrote when I arrived back home.

3 keys – I decided to go to town, I changed my burgundy coat to a navy vest and I decided to stop for the batteries.

He Didn't Know Her Name

“Can you help me, please? I've lost my wife.

I saw her walking, she's my whole life.

Bring her back, I'll wait right here.

She's wearing a black coat, I know she's there.

Her name is Mildred, I love her so

Why did she leave me? Where did she go?”

I strolled the aisles, no one to find

I searched and searched, she must be kind.

I saw a lady, in my view

But she wore a coat of navy blue.

This could be her, I have a task

“Is your name Mildred?”, I have to ask.

“No it's not”, her smile so warm

“My name is Jean”, she did inform.

I said “a husband has lost his wife

He's in the parking lot, she's his life.

Her face was stricken, I read the fear

"Is he in a red car? I parked so near."

I said he was, it might be him

She said his mind is growing dim.

She thanked me so and rushed outside.

I felt her pain, I could have cried.

Such a pity, no one to blame

How sad he didn't know her name.

I Remember – I have taken several writing workshops from Marjroie Simmins and for a couple of years I was a member of her online monthly writing group; Coast to Coast to Coast. One of her prompts was to write a story with “I remeber” as the first words.

I Remember

I remember when penny candy was a penny

when chocolate bars were a dime

when a bottle of pop was a quarter.

I remember running barefoot all summer

swimming daily in the lake

jumping the wake on water skis.

I remember ashtrays everywhere

juke boxes on diner tables

checkered tablecloths.

I remember full sized spares

seatbelts never in use

a dimmer switch on the floor.

I remember black and white tv’s

crank telephones

single speed bicycles.

I remember softball tournaments

game winning hits

championships lost.

I remember yesterday’s supper

last week’s appointment

last month’s concert.

I remember good and bad

happy and sad

truth and fiction.

I remember family and friends

faces and names

births and deaths.

I remember.

I’m lucky.

Many can no longer.

Abe's Way – Another writing prompt from Marjorie Simmins was 'write about a man walking down the road carrying a birdcage and a suitcase'. I had no idea where this poem was going when I started, so I just let Abe take me on his walk.

Abe’s Way

As Abe began his journey

Along the lush and brilliant lane

He clutched a birdcage and a suitcase

But he left behind his cane.

He shuffled along in slippers

His memories growing dim

His eyes were tired and teary

His dentures were not in.

He soon met a young lad running

With hair like Abe's so fair

A bat, with glove dangling from it

A ball he tossed in the air.

“Hey there boy. Where are you going?”

He called out to the lad

But he didn't hear the old man's voice

To the field he ran like mad.

Abe's memory started to come back

How he ran the bases four

As homer after home he hit

The ball he could make soar.

He carried on along the road

The road to who knows where

When to his delight he saw a man

A man he knew did care.

As the distance started to diminish

Abe saw the young man's dress

His uniform pressed so precise

With medals on his chest.

He carefully placed his belongings

Upon the lush and soft green grass

Abe stood up tall and so erect

As he saluted with military class.

Much to Abe's surprise again

The serviceman marched on by

To fight the enemy and keep us safe

Until peace was restored on high.

He picked up his possessions

As he scuffed along the lane

Up the steep hill he did climb

His breathing causing strain.

And then he saw a beautiful lady

Someone he thought he knew

He called out 'Mary, there you are'

But she just walked on through.

Trailing her were four young children

A boy and three girls of blond

Just like his own so long ago

Before young Annie was gone.

This journey made him grow so tired

A bench he stopped to rest

He opened up his old valise

To see what he had left.

He pulled out an old ball glove

Tarnished medals and a beret

A family portrait torn and tattered

His family. Where are they?

He touched the face of little Annie

Her blond curls were so dear

A tear rolled down his weathered face

He knew his time was near.

A nurse came in his room at eight

His needs she would have tended

But he has passed away that night

His journey now had ended.

She noticed one lone tear he shed

His cheek showed a faint stain

But a smile slight she could detect

He was no longer in pain.

They opened up his suitcase

“What's in it?” said the staff

And there they found his dentures

Abe gave them a final laugh.

He never liked to wear them

They never seemed to fit

He hid them daily on the crew

Always trying to outwit.

The empty bird cage is a mystery

Whatever could it mean

Underneath they found a letter

He wanted it to be seen.

Set your goals with enthusiasm

Live your life, be free

See and do all that you want

Soar high above the sea,

Don't cage your dreams and close the door

And not experience life's beauty

Go forth and spread your wings so wide

Abe says that is your duty.

The Beauty of Alayne – If we are lucky we are blessed to have very special people come into our lives. I was lucky when I met Alayne Martell. She became a great friend. Someone who was there for me when I needed a helping hand, or a kick in the butt. She was the absolute funniest person I ever met. Sadly Alayne lost her battle with leukemia in 2020, after a year long fight. I remember a truly amazing person with this poem, the Beauty of Alayne. This is a tough one. Hopefully I can get through it.

The Beauty of Alayne

You are the puffy white clouds, on a bright and sunny day

You are the gentle warm breeze, and the sweet smell of mown hay

You are the brilliant rainbow, your colours seem to glow

You are the valleys lush and green, and the mountains topped with snow

You are the angel on the tree top, elegant in your beauty

You are the eagle in the pine, majestic while on duty

You are the beach, the sand, the rocks, and the white cap on a wave

You are the beacon in the dark, reaching out to save

You are the sunrise and sunset, the beginning and the end

You are the alpha and omega, a true and forever friend

You are a piece of red sea glass, rare and held so dear

I'll forever cherish our friendship, for you are always near

You are a special greeting card, tucked away in a drawer

“Thinking of you”, I often read, when my heart is oh so sore

You touched so many people, more than you could ever know

You are the wind upon our sails, to carry us as we grow

I'll carry on and focus upon, the air, the land, and the sea

You may be gone, but you live on, in the beauty that surrounds me.

Thank you for reading. I love comments, so please leave one if you wish.

All photos taken by Hughena MacDougall.

All words by Hughena MacDougall.

The Disappearance of Kimberly McAndrew

September 29, 2021 / Hughena MacDougall / 21 Comments

Kimberly McAndrew's Grad picture - submitted by Erin McAndrew

(Unfortunately "Celebrating Little Things" is the slogan I use for my blog site. This blog is not a celebration, nor it is a little thing. )

August 12, 1989 - a date forever etched in the memories of many people, none more so than the McAndrew family. This date is the last known sighting of Kimberly McAndrew.

The McAndrew Family moved to my community in the summer of 1976. Audrey was a stay at home Mom, who’s smile would light up a room. Cyril, originally from Ireland, was a respected member of the RCMP. He was the sergeant at the local detachment in Port Hawkesbury. When we heard a new family was moving in, with 5 kids, our community was very excited. There were five daughters; Heather, Erin, Carla, Kimberly and Megan. A son, James, would arrive in July 1977. They also had an Irish Setter named Seamus. I was so happy to learn that Erin, the second oldest, was going into grade 6, and so was I. We became friends while attending a two room school, South Mountain Elementary, before moving on for grades 7-12 at St. Peter’s District High. Although life took over and we were not always in touch, we have remained friends, and thanks to Facebook we continue to be connected.

Heather, Carla, Erin holding Kimberly - submitted by Erin McAndrew

I was home during the winter of 1984. I enjoyed attending the high school hockey games and I would call Carla and Kimberly to see if they wanted to go to the games. On a few occasions they came along. They had a long driveway through an open field that they used during the winter. The regular driveway banked in with so much snow, that it was difficult to keep open. I would pick them up at the end of their driveway, and when we returned they would scamper through the field of snow, to their house. I kept my headlights on the driveway until they were out of sight. I remember being afraid they would fall, and get hurt, before getting home.

View from McAndrew's house. The winter driveway was through this open field.

In 1985 the McAndrew’s moved to Parrsboro. Audrey and the children went first, while Cyril stayed through the winter. Cyril then transferred to Halifax, and commuted to Parrsboro to be with the family. After a 33 year career, he retired in August 1989.

n August 1989, Kimberly was a 19 year old Dalhousie University student. She had a job at the Canadian Tire on Quinpool Road. On August 12, she was working a shift at the Canadian Tire and looking forward to an evening out with her boyfriend, celebrating his birthday and attending the Buskers Festival. Her boss let her leave at 4:20pm, instead of her usual time of 5pm. She walked out the back door and has not been seen since. Her boyfriend was to pick her up at work at 5pm but when he arrived, Kimberly was not there. He would have driven the same route Kimberly would have taken on her walk home, but she was not seen. She was also not at her apartment. She had only the clothes she was wearing, and her blue bag that she used going back and forth to work, with her.

Erin and Kimberly on Kimberly's prom night - submitted by Erin McAndrew

Kimberly was born on January 17, 1970. When she disappeared, she was 5’5” and 110lbs, had very light brown/blonde hair and brown eyes. She had braces on both her upper and lower teeth and she was very much looking forward to having them removed in a few days. Her bank account has never been touched and she never returned to her apartment.

Original cards given out after Kimberly's disappearance - submitted by Erin McAndrew

I remember first hearing Kimberly disappeared while I was sipping a grapefruit pop at the local golf resort. A friend asked me if I had heard the news. I could not fathom that this had happened. This beautiful family, that had been part of our community for several years, was now suffering an unimaginable situation. How could this be? I thought of the times I was afraid Carla and Kim would get hurt running through a field of snow, and now one of them was missing in Halifax. How insignificant my worry had been. I remember wanting to reach out to the family, but in those days there was no internet, or email. I wasn’t even sure where they were. In September, I was playing in a golf tournament in Parrsboro. I had received their phone number from mutual friends, so I called, but I only reached a recording. I don’t remember just what the recording said, but the end was something to the affect of ‘if this is you Kimberly, say something’. I hung up. I had no idea what to say. I was nauseous . And as disturbing as it was to me, what was the family going through.

Early on there was a possible sighting in the hours after Kimberly had left work. She was thought to have been seen at a flower shop in Penhorn Mall in Dartmouth. This would have been totally out of character for Kimberly. She was not the adventurous type and navigating from Quinpool Road to Penhorn Mall would have been quite an adventure for her to attempt on her own. Besides, she had plans for the evening with her boyfriend, so she would likely not have gone to Dartmouth without telling him or some of her family.

Remember, this was a time when surveillance cameras, cellphones, texting, and communicating were not as prevalent, or as easy, as today.

There are two persons of interest. One does not remember all the names of his victims and therefore doesn’t remember if he had anything to do with Kimberly’s disappearance. An apartment was searched and pictures of Kimberly were displayed on the walls and a blue knapsack was found, but no charges were ever laid. Over the years there have been searches carried out on various properties, some of which were Point Pleasant Park, Sir Sandford Fleming Lake, and Shad Bay but nothing ever turned up. In 2002, remains were found along Highway 101, but it was determined they were not Kimberly’s.

Tom Martin, a cold case expert and retired police detective, has been stumped by Kimberly’s disappearance. He is convinced whatever happened to her, happened in the parking lot of the Canadian Tire.

A psychic was contacted, and spoken with, on several occasions, once with some of the family present. Based on the psychic’s information, divers were used to search a lake, and grounds at Point Pleasant Park were searched, but unfortunately nothing was discovered.

Sadly Cyril McAndrew passed away in September 2004, never knowing what happened to his daughter. He was obsessed with finding her, and pursued all possible tips. Being a former RCMP officer, I can only assume it made it even more agonizing for him to not be able to solve this mystery. He truly lived in hope and died in despair.

In May 2019, I went to Ireland. I contacted Erin to see where her father was from and told her where I was going on my trip. She told me Cyril was from Glencastle, County Mayo. She said the closest town I’d probably see on a sign was Ballina. I noticed a sign to Ballina while seated on the coach. How I wished I could have asked our driver to stop for a second so I could take a picture. But instead I focused my thoughts on Cyril and Kimberly. Later that afternoon, after we had checked in to our hotel in Westport, I went for a walk around the town. What do you suppose I found but a sign pointing to Ballina? I took a picture and spent some time standing and looking at the sign and again thinking about Kimberly’s disappearance and how Cyril never knew what happened.

The street sign showing Ballina where I spent a few minutes thinking about Kimberly and Cyril McAndrew

Personally, whenever I hear that remains have been found, I secretly hope they are Kimberly’s, but then I feel a pang of guilt. Of course I don’t wish Kimberly to be deceased. I just wish something, or someone, would come forward to solve this missing person case. Some people have said it would bring closure. Seriously? Closure? I can’t imagine remains would bring closure. It may start the process to finding out what happened, but I can’t imagine closure.

Kimberly would be 51 now. She’d be an aunt to her many nieces and nephews. She would probably be a wife and a mom. She’d likely be successful like her siblings. She would be, and still is, a daughter and a sister, and an aunt, and a friend to many.

In Dundee Kimberly has never been forgotten. It is not unusual, whenever I see friends, that her name comes up in conversation. Many of us still refer to the house they lived in as “McAndrew’s House”. It will always be McAndrews House, as far as I’m concerned.

You might ask what I hope this blog brings forth. I don’t really know. This past August there were no articles on Facebook about Kimberly’s disappearance. There were no articles in the newspapers. Missing people are missing. They are not forgotten by family and friends. They are very much in the present tense. Their names and stories need to be talked about. We need to keep their disappearance front and centre. I’ll ask anyone who reads this to share it on Facebook, please. Maybe someone, somewhere in this world, will read it and maybe it will trigger that all important clue to help bring Kimberly home. No clue is insignificant, no matter how small you might think it might be. Maybe the gutless, heartless person, or people, who played a role in Kimberly’s disappearance, will finally come forward with information. This family has suffered long enough.

This blog was written with permission from, and viewed by, the McAndrew Family prior to posting. I would like to thank Audrey, Heather, Erin, Carla, Megan and James.

The Beauty of Alayne

January 10, 2021 / Hughena MacDougall / 5 Comments

On November 29, 2020, my amazing friend, Alayne Martell, lost her almost year long battle, due to complications with AML (acute myeloid leukemia). She was a special person, in more ways than I could ever explain. She was loved by so many around the world. She had the goofiest sense of humour and could make you belly laugh with her one liners, her facial expressions and her zany antics. She was caring and sincere. She offered me encouragement, and support, when I needed it most. She continued to check in on me, even though she was in a battle for her life. I am a better person for having met Alayne. Alayne was the Super Ninja, in Team Ninja, and she will forever be our leader and inspiration. I'm sad and my heart still hurts, but I feel her presence every day and I know she is never far away. I tried to put into words what she meant, but my heart feels much more than these words convey.