Celebrating Little Things

Category: General (Page 4 of 6)

Slow Down

Slow Down

I’ve always had a problem pacing myself. I’ve felt guilty if I take an hour or two, and do nothing, or do things I enjoy. I usually only allow myself this freedom if I’ve accomplished several chores beforehand. I’ve decided it is time to allow some ‘me’ time and not feel guilty. 

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Leading up to Christmas, I felt like the Energizer Bunny. I kept running and running and running, the batteries were growing weaker, but I kept running, and then the batteries died and I hit the wall running. It hurts. It really does. Suddenly you can’t run anymore. You’re energy is zapped. You can’t concentrate like you usually can. Every little thing becomes huge. Normal sounds become noise. This is not uncommon for someone in my situation. However the important thing is to recognize it, recharge the batteries, and continue on, putting one foot in front of the other.

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But how does one do this? There are many ways; a professional therapist for what I call a ‘mental message’ helps, slowing down and focusing on the little things that bring happiness, connecting with nature, or talking to a friend you can trust who may also have some experience in what is happening.  Someone who can lend an ear and listen, advise, or just be there for you.

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Why does this happen? There are many reasons for that as well, but for me it was a trigger, that caused a memory, that escalated to an ‘episode’ that caused my thinking to go out of whack. I tried to keep going and going, while ignoring the memory, thinking I could outrun it, but the best thing I could have done was to just deal with it. There are exercises to dealing with triggers, and I should have recognized the situation, but in my mind I was too busy for that. However, on a positive note, I did finally recognize what was happening, and I did what I needed to do. 

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What did I do? For starters I used the knowledge I had learned over the past two years and went back to using some of the exercises I had been taught. I also planned to go for a walk around the local golf course, to get out in the fresh air and see the sights from on top of the mountain. The views are tremendous from the highest holes, looking out over the beautiful Bras d’Or Lake. However when I woke up the morning I was going to go for a walk, which happened to be Christmas Eve, there was a 4-5” white blanket of fluffy snow down, that had fallen overnight. How incredible was that? New fallen snow for Christmas Eve. Everything looked like a postcard. And it just seemed so bright and perfect. Instead of walking the golf course, I went for a walk along the road and out to Ballam’s Head, where there are several summer homes, and no person, or creature, had made any tracks on the newly fallen snow. 

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While on my Christmas Eve walk, I concentrated on the five senses. I was aware of the salty smell in the air, the sound of the waves rolling onto the shore, the patterns the snow made on the branches, the sight of the rose hips against the white background, and taste of the snow on my tongue, as it melted and trickled down my throat. I looked up and saw eagles perched in the trees, as the snow fell coating their feathers. I observed areas where the snow had not yet been disturbed by creatures great and small. I wanted to make a snow angel but I was afraid if I got down, I would not be able to get up. Instead I tramped out a heart in the snow with my boots. I took deep breaths, filling my lungs with cold air. I listened to the eagles calling to one another, and in my mind I imagined them wishing one another a Merry Christmas. I heard squirrels chattering and songbirds singing. I embraced everything I could, on the walk. As much as I dearly wished I was with my brother for the holidays, I was content being home, being as safe as I could be, and realizing how lucky I was to not be alone. 

An otter track. It would have been fun to see it sliding through the snow.
The snow looked like cotton balls on the tree.
Snow on a fir branch.
My path was not all that straight. I was too busy trying to see so much.
Snow Heart

I also took the four days I was off from work, from December 23rd to the 26th, and did just ‘me’ things. Did I feel guilty? I suppose in some ways, but I knew that I needed to decompress and engage in things that made me happy. I had a few naps and made sure I got enough sleep. Sleep is a must for me. If I get overtired, or if I have a few nights of not sleeping well, I can feel it in my thought patterns. I also spent time knitting, reading, cooking, baking, walking outdoors, biking in the basement, playing tunes on the fiddle and concertina, working on jigsaw puzzles with Mom, and I watched as much sports as I could find over the holidays. I needed to restore and recharge. I just needed to rest.

Baking cinnamon bread is so satisfying.
Jigsaw puzzles are fun
Knitting makes me happy.

Going forward I’m going to slow down and smell the coffee, and the flowers too, feel the fibres of wool as I knit, taste test more flavours and be aware of where they take me, listen to the wind, the birds, the wildlife, watch more sunrises and sunsets, look for rainbows, feel the rain on my face, splash in puddles, and listen to my body and mind, and recognize when, and what, I have to do and do it. And no more feeling guilty when I do ‘me’ things. 

Feel the fibres
Sunset
Smell the flowers

If anyone is reading this and can relate please know it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to make ‘me’ time and not feel guilty. You are not alone. Remember to breathe. And if you want to reach out, I’m here to listen. 

Be happy

All photos taken by Hughena MacDougall.

Pewter Tree & Sock Tree

The Pewter tree is the latest tree we have added. I think this is the fourth year. Once again we found ourselves acquiring a collection of likenesses. They seemed to be getting lost on the traditional tree, so we thought they needed a tree of their own to be properly displayed. 

This tree is about 4′. Some years I put two sets of mini lights on it, but other years it remains unlit. The tree topper is a plain silver star. 

Santa and two of his reindeer take up residence under the tree.

There are Seagull, Amos and Piper pewter ornaments, as well as other silvery ornaments that aren’t pewter but blend nicely.

You will notice, in the above pictures, that I put ribbon with snowflakes on it, as garland on the tree.

There is a set of six ornaments depicting the nativity.

There are tiny ornaments that hang near the top.

Some have a bit of colour incorporated.

We like the idea of having a tree just for these ornaments, as we can enjoy their beauty on their own. 

As an avid knitter and particularly a lover of knitting socks for myself, as well as others, a sock tree only makes sense. There are over 120 socks on this 3′ tree, which is pre-lit with white lights. This tree remains up year round and gets moved around to various locations. 

The socks on the tree are all hand-knit by me. There is always a bit of yarn leftover from a pair of socks, so I knit a mini sock after each larger pair is completed. 

At the top of the tree are three very special items. Two are socks and one is an angel. One sock is made using red yarn that had a slight sparkle in the wool. I made two mini’s from this yarn. I gifted one to my late, dear friend, Alayne, when she was battling leukemia. I keep the mate to hers at the top, so I can quickly find it and think of her and because she was ‘top’ notch. The other sock is multi-coloured and is from a larger pair I made for my late cousin Norma Billard. The third item is a handmade angel created by my dear friend Judy Guptill of New Hampshire. All three of these have special meaning and deserve to be at the top. 

As you can see there are socks of all colours. Each mini sock reminds me of the pattern I used and who they were knit for, if I didn’t keep them myself. 

The tree skirt was made by Mom and the material has stockings/socks on it.

This tree is getting overloaded so I may need to find a larger tree in the near future. But what will I do with this smaller tree then? Oh, I have plans.  😉

That ends the tour of our trees. I hope you enjoyed reading about them, as much as we enjoy having them.

All photographs taken by me.

Sports Tree

As I mentioned in the Traditional Tree blog, we ended up with quite a collection of sports ornaments. Mom and I are avid sports fans and particularly follow the Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics, Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots. We have been lucky, as all four teams have combined to win numerous championships in the past two decades, and many more prior to that.

Boston Red Sox – 2018, 2013, 2007, 2004 

Boston Bruins – 2011

Boston Celtics – 2008

New England Patriots – 2018, 2016, 2014, 2004, 2003, 2001

That’s 12 championships in 18 years. That’s a lot of parades for Boston. Not too shabby. 

Our tree is funky and quirky. It is an artificial tree, approximately 6′ tall, that I purchased at an after Christmas sale for less than $20. Is is a pre-lit tree, but the lights don’t seem to be evenly distributed, thus having some dark areas. I thought it had coloured lights and this year I was going to add a couple of extra sets but when I plugged it in to check it, I realized the lights are white. 

Funky Quirky Sports Tree

We purchased many of the ornaments on our yearly trips back to the U.S. Many others were given to me by my cousin Norma who was always looking out for unique ones to add to our collection. 

There are ornaments depicting championship. 

This one is made by an Indigenous lady from Waycobah First Nation. 

There are Celtics and Red Sox candy canes.

You will notice in the above picture that I have Red Sox Ribbon as garland. I also have Bruins shoelaces as garland too.

The Red Sox mascot, Wally, sits under the tree along, with an Erik Karlsson bobblehead, that we got when we went to an Ottawa Senators game four years ago and a hockey player nutcracker. 

There are two mascots from the 2004 Athens Olympics; Phevos and Athena.

Although our favourite four teams make up the majority of the ornaments, we do have some others.

I must not forget Mom’s curling rock, a sport she enjoys watching.

And Snoopy also makes an appearance. He is HAPPY just like we are as we enjoy our sports tree. 

This tree is always fun to put up. It is usually the first one to be decorated and the last one to come down. 

I hope you enjoyed the tour of our Sports Tree of Fame. 

All photos taken by me.

The Disappearance of Kimberly McAndrew

Kimberly McAndrew’s Grad picture – submitted by Erin McAndrew

(Unfortunately “Celebrating Little Things” is the slogan I use for my blog site. This blog is not a celebration, nor it is a little thing. )

August 12, 1989 – a date forever etched in the memories of many people, none more so than the McAndrew family.  This date is the last known sighting of Kimberly McAndrew.  

The McAndrew Family moved to my community in the summer of 1976.  Audrey was a stay at home Mom, who’s smile would light up a room.  Cyril, originally from Ireland, was a respected member of the RCMP. He was the sergeant at the local detachment in Port Hawkesbury.  When we heard a new family was moving in, with 5 kids, our community was very excited.  There were five daughters; Heather, Erin, Carla, Kimberly and Megan.  A son, James, would arrive in July 1977.   They also had an Irish Setter named Seamus.  I was so happy to learn that Erin, the second oldest, was going into grade 6, and so was I.  We became friends while attending a two room school, South Mountain Elementary, before moving on for grades 7-12 at St. Peter’s District High.  Although life took over and we were not always in touch, we have remained friends, and thanks to Facebook we continue to be connected.  

Heather, Carla, Erin holding Kimberly - submitted by Erin McAndrew
Heather, Carla, Erin holding Kimberly – submitted by Erin McAndrew

I was home during the winter of 1984.  I enjoyed attending the high school hockey games and I would call Carla and Kimberly to see if they wanted to go to the games.  On a few occasions they came along.  They had a long driveway through an open field that they used during the winter.  The regular driveway banked in with so much snow, that it was difficult to keep open.  I would pick them up at the end of their driveway, and when we returned they would scamper through the field of snow, to their house.  I kept my headlights on the driveway until they were out of sight.  I remember being afraid they would fall, and get hurt, before getting home.

McAndrew’s home in Dundee
View from McAndrew’s house. The winter driveway was through this open field.

 In 1985 the McAndrew’s moved to Parrsboro. Audrey and the children went first, while Cyril stayed through the winter.  Cyril then transferred to Halifax, and commuted to Parrsboro to be with the family.  After a 33 year career, he retired in August 1989.  

n August 1989, Kimberly was a 19 year old Dalhousie University student.  She had a job at the Canadian Tire on Quinpool Road.  On August 12, she was working a shift at the Canadian Tire and looking forward to an evening out with her boyfriend, celebrating his birthday and attending the Buskers Festival.  Her boss let her leave at 4:20pm, instead of her usual time of 5pm.  She walked out the back door and has not been seen since.  Her boyfriend was to pick her up at work at 5pm but when he arrived, Kimberly was not there.  He would have driven the same route Kimberly would have taken on her walk home, but she was not seen.  She was also not at her apartment.  She had only the clothes she was wearing, and her blue bag that she used going back and forth to work, with her. 

Erin and Kimberly on Kimberly’s prom night – submitted by Erin McAndrew

Kimberly was born on January 17, 1970.  When she disappeared, she was 5’5” and 110lbs,  had very light brown/blonde hair and brown eyes.  She had braces on both her upper and lower teeth and she was very much looking forward to having them removed in a few days.  Her bank account has never been touched and she never returned to her apartment. 

Original cards given out after Kimberly’s disappearance – submitted by Erin McAndrew

I remember first hearing Kimberly disappeared while I was sipping a grapefruit pop at the local golf resort.  A friend asked me if I had heard the news.  I could not fathom that this had happened.  This beautiful family, that had been part of our community for several years, was now suffering an unimaginable situation.  How could this be?  I thought of the times I was afraid Carla and Kim would get hurt running through a field of snow, and now one of them was missing in Halifax.  How insignificant my worry had been.  I remember wanting to reach out to the family, but in those days there was no internet, or email.  I wasn’t even sure where they were.  In September, I was playing in a golf tournament in Parrsboro.  I had received their phone number from mutual friends, so I called, but I only reached a recording.  I don’t remember just what the recording said, but the end was something to the affect of ‘if this is you Kimberly, say something’.  I hung up.  I had no idea what to say.  I was nauseous .  And as disturbing as it was to me, what was the family going through.  

Early on there was a possible sighting in the hours after Kimberly had left work.  She was thought to have been seen at a flower shop in Penhorn Mall in Dartmouth.  This would have been totally out of character for Kimberly.  She was not the adventurous type and navigating from Quinpool Road to Penhorn Mall would have been quite an adventure for her to attempt on her own.  Besides, she had plans for the evening with her boyfriend, so she would likely not have gone to Dartmouth without telling him or some of her family.  

Remember, this was a time when surveillance cameras, cellphones, texting, and communicating were not as prevalent, or as easy, as today.  

There are two persons of interest.  One does not remember all the names of his victims and therefore doesn’t remember if he had anything to do with Kimberly’s disappearance.  An apartment was searched and pictures of Kimberly were displayed on the walls and a blue knapsack was found, but no charges were ever laid.  Over the years there have been searches carried out on various properties, some of which were Point Pleasant Park, Sir Sandford Fleming Lake, and Shad Bay but nothing ever turned up.  In 2002, remains were found along Highway 101, but it was determined they were not Kimberly’s. 

Tom Martin, a cold case expert and retired police detective, has been stumped by Kimberly’s disappearance. He is convinced whatever happened to her, happened in the parking lot of the Canadian Tire.  

A psychic was contacted, and spoken with, on several occasions, once with some of the family present.  Based on the psychic’s information, divers were used to search a lake, and grounds at Point Pleasant Park were searched, but unfortunately nothing was discovered.

Sadly Cyril McAndrew passed away in September 2004, never knowing what happened to his daughter.  He was obsessed with finding her, and pursued all possible tips.  Being a former RCMP officer, I can only assume it made it even more agonizing for him to not be able to solve this mystery.  He truly lived in hope and died in despair.  

In May 2019, I went to Ireland.  I contacted Erin to see where her father was from and told her where I was going on my trip.  She told me Cyril was from Glencastle, County Mayo. She said the closest town I’d probably see on a sign was Ballina.  I noticed a sign to Ballina while seated on the coach.  How I wished I could have asked our driver to stop for a second so I could take a picture.  But instead I focused my thoughts on Cyril and Kimberly.  Later that afternoon, after we had checked in to our hotel in Westport, I went for a walk around the town.  What do you suppose I found but a sign pointing to Ballina?  I took a picture and spent some time standing and looking at the sign and again thinking about Kimberly’s disappearance and how Cyril never knew what happened.

The street sign showing Ballina where I spent a few minutes thinking about Kimberly and Cyril McAndrew

Personally, whenever I hear that remains have been found, I secretly hope they are Kimberly’s, but then I feel a pang of guilt.  Of course I don’t wish Kimberly to be deceased.  I just wish something, or someone, would come forward to solve this missing person case.  Some people have said it would bring closure.  Seriously?  Closure?  I can’t imagine remains would bring closure.  It may start the process to finding out what happened, but I can’t imagine closure.  

Kimberly would be 51 now.  She’d be an aunt to her many nieces and nephews.  She would probably be a wife and a mom.  She’d likely be successful like her siblings.  She would be, and still is, a daughter and a sister, and an aunt, and a friend to many.  

In Dundee Kimberly has never been forgotten.  It is not unusual, whenever I see friends, that her name comes up in conversation.  Many of us still refer to the house they lived in as “McAndrew’s House”.  It will always be McAndrews House, as far as I’m concerned.  

McAndrew’s house in Dundee

You might ask what I hope this blog brings forth.  I don’t really know.  This past August there were no articles on Facebook about Kimberly’s disappearance.  There were no articles in the newspapers.  Missing people are missing.  They are not forgotten by family and friends.  They are very much in the present tense.  Their names and stories need to be talked about.  We need to keep their disappearance front and centre.  I’ll ask anyone who reads this to share it on Facebook, please.  Maybe someone, somewhere in this world, will read it and maybe it will trigger that all important clue to help bring Kimberly home.  No clue is insignificant, no matter how small you might think it might be.  Maybe the gutless, heartless person, or people, who played a role in Kimberly’s disappearance, will finally come forward with information.  This family has suffered long enough.  

This blog was written with permission from, and viewed by, the McAndrew Family prior to posting.  I would like to thank Audrey, Heather, Erin, Carla, Megan and James. 

Celebrating Little Things – Part 4

Cedar Waxwing

I am finding it increasingly more difficult to remain positive through this third wave of Covid. Maybe because I had so much other crap going on that I was trying to work through, during the first and second waves, that I didn’t find it as hard.  Or maybe not realizing how long this was going to continue, even though we were warned about a second and third wave, made it easier.  Now I find myself wondering if we will ever see loved ones again, ever be able to hug people, ever say a proper goodbye to those who are no longer here, ever be able to go to a live music event, ever be able to travel to Ireland or anywhere again, ever have some kind of normalcy.  In the meantime, I will focus on the positives, the little things, that mean so much. 

  • When Mom received her first dose of Pfizer, friends checked in on her during the afternoon after I went back to work.  It’s comforting to have people in our lives that do these little things.  
  • Receiving my first dose of the vaccine, even if it was AstraZeneca.  I have not even second guessed my decision to get the first vaccine that was available, even though I have no idea what the second vaccine is going to be.  
  • I have had two Covid tests.  One was the more in depth (no pun intended) test, in Antigonish, in which the results arrived via email about 18 hours later.  Thankfully I was negative.  The second was a rapid test at the Port Hawkesbury Civic Centre.  Because I do not own a cellphone, I had to remain at the site to receive my test results.  After 15 minutes a lovely lady came out and asked the two people who were waiting what our names were.  I knew since I was the first to have my test done that she was likely looking for me.  When I said my name she very cautiously approached me, with a bit of a serious look on her face.  My heart started racing.  She leaned towards me and in a very hushed voice she said ‘you’re negative.  You may leave now’.  Phew.  Thank goodness.  
  • I recently suffered a sprained neck and was in great agony for several days.  I had to call a friend to take me to the hospital and then to town for a prescription.  She had also picked me up a neck brace prior to taking me to the hospital. Knowing I have special people in my life, that I can depend on in times of need, means so much.  Thank you Donna.  
Donna MacMaster
  • I bought an Amaryllis, on sale, in February.  It provided so much pleasure, as I watched it grow and bloom.  There is something about an Amaryllis blossom that just makes me so happy.  And the fact it was about 1/4 the original price.
Amaryllis
  •  I stored LilyAnna, my Canna Lily, last fall in hopes that I could plant a few offspring from it this spring.  It survived wonderfully and when I planted the tubers I had 10 plants, all with sprouts starting.  I very successfully now have 9 pots and although some are VERY slow to grow, others have taken off mightily. 
LilyAnna’s young’uns
  • As a knitter there is nothing that makes me happier than reaching into the centre of the ball and pulling out the inside thread end.  Oh happy day when that happens.  
  • Speaking of  yarn, I have a tree that I decorate with knitted mini socks.  It remains up year round and I light it when I need an extra boost of happiness.  The mini socks are made from leftover yarn of socks I’ve knit for myself or others.  At the top of the tree are two socks using the leftovers from socks I made for two special people; my cousin Norma and my friend Alayne.  Also at the top of the tree, is an angel my friend Judy made and gave me.  
Alayne’s sock on the left, Judy’s angel centre, Norma’s sock on the right.
My sock tree. Tree skirt made by Mom.
  • On Easter weekend, while I was eating my dinner, the phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the number but answered anyway.  Here is the conversation:

Me:  Hello

Them:  Hi.  How are you?

Me:  Fine.  How are you?

Them: Fine.  What are you doing?

Me:  Not much.  Just eating dinner.

Them: Oh.  I think I have the wrong number.

Me:  Oh, that’s okay.  

Them:  Well, Happy Easter.  Enjoy your day.

Me:  Happy Easter to you too. Nice chatting.

Such a nice conversation with someone I didn’t know.  Something about this made me feel so happy. 

  • I can always find joy when I go outside and connect with nature. Trees budding, flowers popping through the ground, apple blossoms, eagles calling early in the morning, but one of the most hauntingly beautiful sounds is the call of the loon.  I don’t hear it too often but when I do, I stop whatever I’m doing and just listen.  Incredible.  (Now to try and get a picture of a loon.)
Crabapple
Eagle
Daffodils
Budding tree
Ruby Throated Hummingbird
My Happy Place
  • I just finished an online writing course.  I was quite reluctant to sign up but because it was taught by a friend, and someone I’d taken in person courses from previously, I decided to give it a go.  What a surprise!  It was for 4 weeks, every Saturday from 1-3:30pm.  There were 12 participants and our teacher, leader, mentor, friend, Marjorie Simmins.  Everyone offered so much to the weekly sessions.  My rural internet didn’t let me down, so that was a bonus as well.  I discovered new authors and I’ve purchased way too many books, but I suppose there are worse things I could be spending my money on.  I’m so glad I came out of my comfort zone and took part in this workshop.  And the best part is, I’m writing.  I’m not writing anything that will likely ever be published, but that isn’t always the reason for writing.  I’m writing as a form of healing.  It’s difficult but it’s satisfying.  
  • I was recently cooking dinner and put on one of my favourite CD’s while doing the prep work.  I used the shuffle mode and the first two songs that came up were two of my all-time favourites.  Thank you Kevin Evans for writing Shine on Brighter and The Orchard.  It would have been a trifecta had The Highwaymaid been number three, but that’s on another CD.  I knew I’d have a good day after this occurrence.  
  • It’s never easy saying goodbye to longtime neighbours, so I had mixed emotions when I heard Annie had sold her house.  I was happy for her, knowing she was moving to a more accessible home, with less stairs, but sad to see her leave as she was the perfect neighbour.  Knowing she will be in St. Peter’s, and not that far away, makes it easier.  Once she is settled, and we are under less strict Covid concerns, we can visit.  We have been blessed to have been surrounded by wonderful neighbours for so long.  
  • With Annie’s departure we welcome new neighbours, Krista and Mike, and their two feline fir kids, Miella and Gus.  They have settled into their new home nicely, and although we can’t visit, we do have deck visits sometimes.  Krista makes wicked baked goods and I don’t mind being a taste tester.  Our luck of having wonderful neighbours continues. Welcome to Dundee. Welcome home.  
  • While mowing recently, some friends stopped for a drive by visit.  So nice to actually see people during these strange times.  And even better when it was one of my favourite school teacher’s, Marc Stone, (he paid me to say that) along with his wife Nancy and Nancy’s mom, Patsy.  Patsy asked if my Dad was Bert MacDougall.  When I said yes, she said ‘Oh I knew Bertie in Stirling’.  Well, this just made my day.  There likely aren’t a lot of people left that would remember my Dad from his Stirling days.  My heart was overjoyed. 

Sometimes it’s just the little things……

PS – All photos taken by yours truly.

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