I consider myself to be somewhat athletic and to have decent coordination, but for some reason I have difficulty with treadmills. Here are a couple of pieces of advice; if you are prone to motion sickness, as I am, do not watch your feet moving on the belt, and attaching the clip to ones clothing serves a purpose.
First attempt:
Treadmill Malady
It’s time to try the treadmill
As weight I gained you see
No more chips and ice cream
My body said to me
How does this contraption work
I cannot seem to find
An on/off switch to activate
Am I losing my mind
I finally get it going
As my feet begin to pace
I can’t stop staring at the belt
My steps make it a race
After fifteen minutes of walking
I feel the need to stop
I step down onto solid ground
But my head spins like a top
I’m so dizzy I have to sit down
And I’m nauseous in the tummy
I think I’m going to vomit
I feel so bloody crummy
The moral of this story is such
Don’t watch your feet move easy
Or motion sickness will attack
And leave you feeling queasy.
Second attempt:
Treadmill Fall-y
The second time I tried the treadmill
I hoped it would go better
I wanted to sweat the pounds away
So I wore a heavy sweater
I must not look down at my feet
But focus on views in front
Or nauseousness and dizziness
Will make me groan and grunt
What is this clip for, I wonder
As I attach it to my shirt
It seems a nuisance as I walk
I unclip it as I exert
I’m really getting very warm
As I sweat away the pounds
I must remove this heavy shirt
Before I pass out on the ground
I barely have it over my head
When my feet begin losing this race
The damn conveyor belt doesn’t slow
It keeps the same friggin pace
The next thing I know I’m flying off
The back of this machine
As I smash into a corner wall
It was not a graceful scene
Now I find myself contained
Between a treadmill, chair and wall
I stand and dust myself off
From this unexpected fall
I assumed I could climb back onboard
The conveyor belt in front
But once again I’m in a heap
After that impossible stunt
I next climb over the chair nearby
And shut the damn thing down
I was so disgusted with this attempt
That I could only frown
The moral of this story is
Keep the clip attached to your sweater
Especially if you try to disrobe
As the outcome should be better.
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