Celtic Beamer

Celebrating Little Things

Page 10 of 11

Treadmill Challenges

I consider myself to be somewhat athletic and to have decent coordination, but for some reason I have difficulty with treadmills.  Here are a couple of pieces of advice; if you are prone to motion sickness, as I am, do not watch your feet moving on the belt, and attaching the clip to ones clothing serves a purpose.

 

First attempt:

Treadmill Malady

It’s time to try the treadmill

As weight I gained you see

No more chips and ice cream

My body said to me

How does this contraption work

I cannot seem to find

An on/off switch to activate

Am I losing my mind

I finally get it going

As my feet begin to pace

I can’t stop staring at the belt

My steps make it a race

After fifteen minutes of walking

I feel the need to stop

I step down onto solid ground

But my head spins like a top

I’m so dizzy I have to sit down

And I’m nauseous in the tummy

I think I’m going to vomit

I feel so bloody crummy

The moral of this story is such

Don’t watch your feet move easy

Or motion sickness will attack

And leave you feeling queasy.

Second attempt:

Treadmill Fall-y

The second time I tried the treadmill

I hoped it would go better

I wanted to sweat the pounds away

So I wore a heavy sweater

I must not look down at my feet

But focus on views in front

Or nauseousness and dizziness

Will make me groan and grunt

What is this clip for, I wonder

As I attach it to my shirt

It seems a nuisance as I walk

I unclip it as I exert

I’m really getting very warm

As I sweat away the pounds

I must remove this heavy shirt

Before I pass out on the ground

I barely have it over my head

When my feet begin losing this race

The damn conveyor belt doesn’t slow

It keeps the same friggin pace

The next thing I know I’m flying off

The back of this machine

As I smash into a corner wall

It was not a graceful scene

Now I find myself contained

Between a treadmill, chair and wall

I stand and dust myself off

From this unexpected fall

I assumed I could climb back onboard

The conveyor belt in front

But once again I’m in a heap

After that impossible stunt

I next climb over the chair nearby

And shut the damn thing down

I was so disgusted with this attempt

That I could only frown

The moral of this story is

Keep the clip attached to your sweater

Especially if you try to disrobe

As the outcome should be better.

Dear Covid-19 Part 2

Dear Covid

Remember me?  I wrote you a couple of months ago, just to let you know that you weren’t intimidating me, and also to make you aware of all the good you have done since you made your appearance.  I thought I’d write you again and let you know how things are going in my part of the world.  By the way, I called you Covid, because I feel we are on a first name basis now.  

Here in Nova Scotia we have heeded the advice of Premier Stephen McNeil and Dr. Robert Strang.  They have guided us and made the important decisions with shutting down our beautiful province and gradually re-opening it.  They have done an admiral job and we are very thankful to have them leading the way.  

It is now mandatory for us to wear masks when in public places.  Yes, we hate them but hey, if it keeps us safe, then we’ll put up with the inconvenience until we get use to them.  It’s rather entertaining to see all the different masks that are being used.  Many people have chosen to use the disposal ones, but others are wearing colourful cloth masks.  There are so many people making and selling their products and many are donating the money from their sales to very good causes.  Ah ha…another good thing to come from your existence.  People are making statements with their masks by wearing ones that support their favourite sports teams, or their interests, or just wearing colourful fabric masks.   I’ve seen Montreal Canadians, Toronto Maple Leafs (these have likely disappeared now), Boston Bruins, Harley Davidson, knitting, paisley print, polka dots and many more designs.  Another common mask is those made from tartan material.  I love seeing the Cape Breton tartan, Nova Scotia tartan and the Maple Leaf tartan being worn and showing allegiance to our Scottish ancestry.  Personally I love to colour co-ordinate my mask to whatever I am wearing.  You see, wearing a mask can also be a fashion statement and it can be fun. 

I just had the most enjoyable weekend.  I travelled to my brother’s place in Bedford.  We have not been able to visit since you reared your ugly head.  By the way, you can stop laughing now because it really isn’t funny.  Mom and I spent two amazing days with him and Greg. A gorgeous cardinal welcomed us, only minutes after arriving. We both love cardinals and that was the first sign of what our weekend would be like.  We laughed, talked, read, watched the squirrels in the oak trees and dodged the acorns they threw down on the deck.   We sat on the deck in the sun and out of the sun.  We cooked and we ate.  But most of all we just enjoyed being in one another’s company.  At one point I lifted my head from my iPad and looked at Mom, who was reading, then I looked at Sandy and Greg who were surfing on their phones and I thought, “what more could I want?”.  The answer is nothing.  I was with the most important people in my life.  Covid, you have made me, and many others, realize just what is important in life and what isn’t. 

As I made the three hour drive to Bedford and back, I saw many vehicles from Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Newfoundland/Labrador.  This is the Atlantic bubble and people within these provinces can travel back and forth and not have to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival.  The tourism sector is definitely missing the tourists from other parts of Canada, the US and around the world, but it is all about keeping us safe from YOU.  The traffic was heavy, maybe heavier than I’ve seen before.  It is comforting to know that many people are staying home and having what we know as staycations.  People are discovering they don’t have to travel to points far and wide to have a wonderful vacation.  They are realizing there is so much to do and see in our own province ,and in Atlantic Canada.  There were so many vehicles with kayaks and bikes being transported.  There were also MANY travel trailers of all types going and coming.  How amazing to see so many traveling and enjoying the trails, camp grounds, waterways and highways of Nova Scotia. Oh Covid, you continue to be such a positive wake up call to so many.  Thank you for that.  

Those in the know believe you will be paying us a second visit, but it is unknown as to exactly when that will be.  Just to advise you, the welcome mat will not be out for you ever.  In fact, why don’t you listen to Premier McNeil and ‘stay to blazes home’.  In other words, stay to blazes away and just don’t bother coming back.  But if you do, we are already on board with shutting down again.  We did a great job the first time around, so I expect the second time we will be even better.  My advice, just don’t waste your time messing with us again.  

Covid, you have caused chaos; there is no doubt about that.  You have made it very difficult for those who have, and had, terminally ill family members.  And not necessarily terminally ill from having you invade their bodies.  You have prevented family from being with their loved ones during their most vulnerable time.  That is pitiful.  You have caused ceremonies for deceased to be put on hold, therefore bringing no closure to the families of those who have passed.  I just want to advise you that when those celebrations of life are finally held, they will be even more meaningful and important to all.  

I hope this letter finds you reconsidering your existence.  As you can see, we are coping quite well.  You, on the other hand, have been kicked to the curb, for the time being and hopefully for good.  We are a very welcoming and open society, but only when we can trust, and with you, there is no trust.  This is very unlike us to be so uncaring, but you ruffled our feathers big time.  

Yours in continued isolation but gradually re-entering our world, 

Hughena MacDougall

Dundee, NS

PS…I haven’t gone for a haircut yet, because of you, but guess what?  I’m liking the new do and so are many others.  

Fiak’s Dessert Dilemma

In May 2019, I travelled to Ireland with Brack Tours and musical guests,  Evans and Doherty (Kevin Evans and Brian Doherty).  I plan to share some of my experiences, and photographs, over the coming weeks.  I had hoped to travel to Ireland again next month, but Covid-19 has postponed that trip.

Most of our stays were two nights in duration.  On the first evening of arrival, at each destination, we had a group meal, while the second night we were on our own.  As a group, we’d each order our appetizer, entree and dessert all at once.  On one particular night, someone didn’t order dessert and this became a bit of an issue, which caused several us to convulse in laughter.  Our waiter, Fiak, who also wore a “Trainee” tag, was determined that dessert was ordered.  After making 3-4 visits to our table, clearly trying to convince the person they did indeed order dessert, he finally returned and admitted he was wrong.  This poem more or less sums it up.

 

Ode to Fiak’s Dessert Dilemma

Excuse me sir, your dessert is delivered

Toffee apple sponge cake with almonds slivered

No I’m sorry young man, you are mistaken

I didn’t order dessert, my senses you awaken.

Are you sure sir, I just checked my notes

They clearly indicate the cake got your vote

No I didn’t, trainee, I swear to you

Now take that dessert, you haven’t a clue

Sir you are wrong, my records clearly say

You ordered this cake, this is no time to play

Just one more time I’m going to explain

I did not order the cake, now stop being a pain

You are incorrect sir, I know your request

But I can see I won’t win this sweet conquest

Take that cake out of my face, before I puck you on the cheek

That dessert is not mine, don’t make me freak

Excuse me sir, I must let you know

That you were correct, I’m just a dumb Joe

I knew I was right, how did you not see

Now leave me alone and just let it be.  

He Didn’t Know Her Name

Here’s the story behind the poem.  I arrived home from work one Friday evening, in March 2013, and realized I had only one working headlight.  I decided it could wait until Monday, to get fixed, when I’d have one of the mechanics at my workplace replace it.  On Saturday evening Mom and I were going to Boisdale to a concert.   I woke up on Saturday morning and thought about the headlight and decided since we’d be going through back roads, in the evening/night, that I’d better get it fixed right away.  Even though I see many cars with only one headlight, with my luck I’d be stopped and ticketed and I didn’t need that.  Also, I wanted the best visibility possible, in case of  wildlife jumping out onto the roads, or a possible snow squall appearing during our drive.  Mom asked me to pick up batteries for her, if I had time, even though she didn’t need them for a few weeks when the time changed.  I didn’t want to spend much time in town, so I told her I’d get them on one of my lunch breaks the following week.  I put on a heavy burgundy jacket and proceeded to the car.  I realized it was much too warm for my jacket and went back in and changed to a black vest.  I stopped at my workplace and found one of the mechanics working on a vehicle.  He told me what I needed and off I went to the parts shop and picked up a bulb.  It took him about 5 minutes to pop it in and I was ready to go home.  It was still very early in the day, around 9am, so I decided at the last minute to stop at Walmart to pick up the batteries for Mom.  I parked the car beside an SUV and got out.  Immediately a man in the SUV got out and approached me.  I was a bit leery at first, but when he said he needed help to find his wife, I realized I needed to listen to him.  He was very distraught.  He kept telling me ‘she went that way’ as he pointed towards the opposite end of the mall from where the SUV was parked.  I explained that nothing else was open and she must be in Walmart.  He was adamant she walked away.  I asked him what her name was and he told me, Mildred.  I then asked what she was wearing.  He was thinking and thinking and then reached out and touched my vest and said ‘a coat in this colour’.   I tried to calm him and told him he should get back in the car while I went into Walmart to look for her.  Once he was safely in the vehicle, I went in.  There were possibly a half dozen cars in the parking lot, so I knew there wouldn’t be many people in the store.  I looked and looked but could not find anyone I thought could be his wife.  I picked up the batteries I needed, but I knew I had to look again.  I finally saw an older lady wearing a navy blue jacket.  I thought it might be her.  I asked her if her name was Mildred.  She smiled and said no, it is Jean.  I thanked her and explained that a gentleman was in the parking lot very upset he didn’t know where his wife went.  She instantly grew pale.  She asked was he in an SUV.  I told her yes.  She told me it was her husband and his mind was starting to go.  She left her cart and took off for the exit.  She looked back as she left and yelled ‘thank you!’ as she went out the door.  So many things made this happen.  First I decided to go to town and have my light fixed.  Second, I changed from my burgundy jacket to a black vest.  Perhaps he’d not have remembered the colour, or at least a colour close to what I needed to look for, if I’d not changed.  And third, I decided at the last second to stop for the batteries.  I’ve wondered about this couple so much over the past 7 years.  I’ve wondered who Mildred was.  His Mom?  His old girlfriend?  Former wife?  Daughter?  When I got home that day, I immediately headed to my computer and wrote this poem in about 10 minutes.  BTW names have been altered to protect the couple.

 

He Didn’t Know Her Name

Can you help me, please? I’ve lost my wife.

I saw her walking, she’s my whole life.

Bring her back, I’ll wait right here.

She’s wearing a black coat, I know she’s there.

Her name is Mildred, I love here so

Why did she leave me? Where did she go?

I strolled the aisles, no one to find

I searched and searched, she must be kind.

I saw a lady, in my view

But she wore a coat of navy blue.

This could be her, I have a task

Is your name Mildred, I have to ask.

No it’s not, her smile so warm

My name is Jean, she did inform.

I said a husband has lost his wife

He’s in the parking lot, she’s his life.

Her face was stricken, I read the fear

“Is he in a red car? I parked so near.”

I said he was, it might be him

She said his mind is growing dim.

She thanked me so and rushed outside.

I felt her pain, I could have cried.

Such a pity, no one to blame

How sad he didn’t know her name.

Laughter

Have you ever heard that laughter is infectious?  I can attest that this is indeed the case.  This past week, while sitting on my deck under the shade of my patio umbrella one afternoon, I was enjoying the quiet and stillness,  while knitting.   The river was a mirror and the Trembling Aspen were hardly making a sound.  They are so sensitive to movement and one can often hear their rustling leaves, but not on this day.  As I listened to the various birds chirping and calling, I suddenly heard laughter.  I wasn’t sure which of the several cottages in the area the sound was coming from.  A few minutes later I could hear the laughter again.  And yet again and again.  It was so calm that the sound was travelling.  After a half dozen outbursts of laughter, I found myself laughing right along with them.  They would laugh and I’d laugh too.  They would laugh again and so would I.  I couldn’t help it.

Today I was at a local car dealership.  I sat down and opened a book by Silver Donald Cameron, “Stirling Silver” and started to read.  As I was reading, I heard the girls at the service counter laughing.  I continued reading and they continued laughing.  They were opening a box of swag or parts,  and talking about food or something.  I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were talking or laughing about, but just that they were laughing and it was belly laughter.  This was 8:45 in the morning, and a Monday morning as well.  I found I was paying more attention to the laughter than the book I was reading, and I was also trying my hardest not to burst out laughing with them.  Finally I could contain myself no more and laughed out loud.    We all laughed.

My car was soon ready and I was happy that it wasn’t something serious.  I had a great laugh with the girls.  I knew this would be a good day.

After lunch, I went for a bike ride.   I noticed a neighbour working in her yard.  She had her back to the road and was bent over, digging in her garden.  I was telling myself not to say anything, as I’d probably scare the bejeepers out of her.  I know sooner thought that when I realized my mouth was open saying a cheery “Hi”.  Oh my gosh, what did I do.  She shot up like she had struck a geyser and let out a whoop.   I had indeed startled her and I felt bad, but I was facing an uphill so kept on riding.  I wasn’t very far from her house when I started thinking about her response to my ‘hi’.  Once again I found myself laughing out loud.  I’m sure if anyone saw or heard me laughing to myself, they would have thought I was a little off.  I only had a couple of kilometres to go before turning around, to head home, and although I laughed most of the way, I thought I had better stop and apologize.  When I got to her house, she was outside talking to her husband.  I stopped and told her I was sorry.  She laughed and  said ‘none the worse for wear’.  The three of us were laughing, as I headed home.

I’ve laughed a lot lately.  Laughter truly is the best medicine.  Sometimes it is just the littlest things that can make a day so wonderful.

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